I have hit a plateau. I guess I should be thankful that it didn't happen sooner, as most people hit one after about 20 pounds, but this one is frustrating. I have been stuck at about 170 pounds for the last almost two months. I've seen improvements in the way I look, and in my speed and endurance when running, which makes me think I'm losing weight, but every time I step onto the scale it still reads at just about 170.
If I am honest with myself, I think its a food problem. I think I really need to buckle down for a couple weeks and refocus food-wise. I've been giving into the things I want lately, I've been drinking that Snapple, or eating that cookie, and having that extra snack while at work. I had stopped doing that all of last year, and it needs to stop again. I want to lose these last 30 pounds, and it isn't going to happen by eating the way I used to.
I find myself apprehensive about these last 30 pounds lately. I mean, it's still a lot of weight, and taking off the last 30 is likely going to be harder than the first 45, my body was more willing to give up weight when I was tipping the scales at over 200 then it is now. What if I can't do it, and what if I give up completely and just let the weight come back on, slowly, pound by pound, until I'm 214 pounds again? This fear isn't allayed by the fact that my runs the last two days have been slow, painful, and boring. I think I need to get off the treadmill and go outside again... I find I have an easier time running outside to music, than to television on a treadmill. But that makes me nervous, because winter's coming and I will run in the rain, but I'm not hardcore enough to run on snow. That's not a problem if the weather this year acts as it normally does in Vancouver: one week of snow, and six months of rain as I can gym-it for a week... but if it's anything like last year I'm going to be slogging along on a treadmill for a solid six weeks.
On the flip-side, I am excited about losing these last thirty pounds. About running this 10k in November, a half marathon in the spring and a full one come summer. I am excited about fitting into the clothes I've dreamed of fitting into and feeling even more awesome about myself than I do now. I can't wait to cross the finish line next summer, having just run 26.2 miles (because I will finish) and have my boyfriend waiting for me, because he always knew I could accomplish this. On Thursday I ran my usual run (outside), and then headed over to the UBC track for the last 10 minutes of my run, and did a mile, as fast as I could considering it was the very end of my run. I completed it in 9 minutes and 32 seconds. So not really that fast compared to most other runners, but for me, who never ran a mile in under 11 minutes in middle school. For me, who was that person walking at the very back of the pack, it was a huge accomplishment, and knowing how far I've come motivates me to go even further.