Taking the Day off

So I definitely didn't stick to the training schedule this week... but I kind of knew that would happen. It was my boyfriend and I's four year anniversary and we had planned to go winter camping up at Garibaldi Lake on Friday and Saturday. My training schedule dictated five days of running this week which meant I had to run all the days I was actually home, including the day before we left, which I knew we would be crazy, and today, Sunday which I had my doubts about cause I didn't know how sore and tired I would be.

In short, I didn't get the run in on Thursday, we ended up being just way too busy, and I am listening to my body and taking today off. I have a headache, my feet hurt, and my legs feel a bit stiff. I am sure a tylenol would fix the headache and my legs would be fine but it is actually the pain in my feet that convinced me to not run. We used snowshoes and by the end of yesterday the straps were digging into my feet and my arches were starting to really hurt along with oddly enough my baby-toes... I really don't want any foot injuries, I am three weeks out (to the DAY!) from my half and I want to be able to focus these next three weeks and really rock my first ever half marathon. So I'm taking today off. It mean my cumulative mileage for this week is only about 12 miles... but that's ok. I still ran, and the hike up and back down from Garibaldi lake was hardly a walk in the park. It was six kilometers of steep, and I do mean steep uphill in the snow... So my legs weren't getting the pounding they normally get from running, but my cardio-vascular exertion level was certainly up there. Next week I actually have the time (and hopefully will have the energy to complete the 28 miles my schedule demands of me. It's time to kick it in and train hard.

I also want to go to Bikram for the first time ever at some point this week.

Today I woke up at the disgusting hour of 5:15 am, had a shower, made myself some pumpkin yogurt for breakfast (plain non-fat yogurt, a quarter cup of pumpkin, a half tablespoon of agave and granola) and packed a LUNA bar and my favorite egg salad sandwich (I use one hard-boiled egg, non-fat yogurt with tumeric, cayenne, and salt instead of mayonaise, and then I chop up about a quarter of an apple into the mix, before spreading it on sandwich thins with a layer of peach red pepper chutney) before heading to work. Luckily it was a Sunday so we were pretty slow. I got off work at 2:30 and walked home, where I made myself some almond butter toast and some more pumpkin yogurt (seriously addicted to the stuff). Probably more food than I needed but I am always so hungry after opening at and least it was healthy food right?

So this coming week looks something like this:

Monday - hopefully going to Bikram Yoga (for the first time ever, I am a little nervous, but mostly excited)

Tuesday - run four miles

Wednesday - run three miles

Thursday - seven mile tempo

Friday - run three miles

Saturday - off (maybe go climbing, but maybe 100% full stop rest day)

Sunday - run 11 miles

For a total mileage of 28 miles. The most I've ever run in a week and 11 miles will be my longest run to date, and the longest run I do before my half.

We'll see how it goes.

The Importance of Failing

I had a failed eight mile run today. I was supposed to do four mile repeats with half mile jogs in between with a warm up and warm down to total eight miles. I was apprehensive about it. I kind of hate mile repeats. I know they make me faster, I know they help my endurance and mental toughness, but I hate them. Why? Because I am a competitive person. I am a perfectionist and if I run the first mile in 8:30 I will kill myself to run the next one in 8:25 and the one after that in 8:20 and the one after that in 8:10. This is a good thing, except that I have trouble pacing the mile distance, and therefore always end up exhausted and barely breathing at the end. Usually, however, it is ok... Today it wasn't.

I think I just got myself too wound up about this run... I did my warm-up and felt kind of crappy, I felt slightly nauseous, which makes me think that bananas+runs=bad because I had one before my run today and I usually just stick with a bit of toast with almond butter and honey which always works. As I went into my first mile I realized I had accidentally planned my route so that that first mile included A LOT of hilly sections. Bad, bad idea for mile repeats. I was relieved when that first mile was over. I did my jog and then went into the second mile... Immediately I felt sick, I was pushing up yet another hill (bad, bad, bad route planning on my part, I was trying to do mile repeats not hill repeats), and I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. So I stopped leaned against a tree and breathed, I figured I could just pick it back up and maybe aim for 9 minute miles... Not what I really wanted to ultimately respectable. Kind of. After a minute or two I tried to start running again... My legs felt like absolute lead, and my stomach just felt worse... After about five minutes I figured I'd just make it to the three mile run, count today as one of my easy run days (I have three easy three mile days this week) and do the mile repeats on Thursday.

At first I was really mad at myself, but then I started thinking about the last run I didn't complete, a seven mile tempo I tried to run in the absolute pouring rain where I get so soaked that I ended up to cold to continue, and I thought about what I learned from that run. I learned that it is ok to fail sometimes, that it is ok to not complete something as long as I readjust my schedule so that I do it later. So instead of being mad at myself about today I've decided to use it as a learning experience. Could I have completed the eight mile distance? Yes. I would have slowed down and finished it as a leisurely long run. And if I feel sick during my half, I'll just forget about time and focus on finishing, but that wasn't the point of today. The point of today was the repeats, and if I was incapable of doing them then the best thing to do was to stop, and do them another day, take the failure, accept it and move forwards.

That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

Running in the Rain

So it's raining out, again. Yesterday I waited until mid-afternoon to go run, because I had a seven mile tempo and I tend to do best in the mid afternoon. That was a mistake. It started raining around three... So I went inside and ran a seven mile tempo on the treadmill. The good news is it went better than expected, the bad news is I spent the entire hour and seven minutes it took me to complete my seven miles (1 mile warm up, five miles at tempo pace, 1 mile cool) staring at the distance screen on the treadmill begging the numbers to move faster.

This morning I got up early, made breakfast from some non-fat yogurt, canned pumpkin, honey, raisins, granola, some cinnamon, and a banana (mix everything into a bowl and enjoy), and packed my lunch, which was the sweet potato spoon bread I made last night and the coconut wild rice soup I also made last night. I love this soup. Its the second time I've made it and it is out of Heidi Swanson's, of www.101cookbooks.com, Super Natural Cooking and its amazing. Vegan, creamy, complex carbohydrate packed and awesome. Ok, so some people are anti-coconut milk because they think it has too much saturated fat, and it DOES have a good amount but recent studies have shown that because it is not a hydrogenated fat, nor is animal fat it doesn't do the same damage to your body as the saturated fat in say butter does (don't get me wrong, I still use butter though I try and do so minimally). All the research is pretty new but nevertheless... I'll go with it because I LOVE all things coconut. I also grabbed an apple and a latte and ran out the door.

I spent most of today in Food Safe, which to sum up was eight hours of learning about all the different ways food can make you sick and how to prevent it which pretty much equates to: wash your hands, don't defrost food at room temperature, don't leave food at room temperature, and really really don't go to work if you have Hepatitis A.

Anyway, I'm off for a run, just a quick easy three miles today, so the rain should be manageable. I admit, the wimpy side of me is wondering if I can get through running on a treadmill two days in a row. Then I have to pick up the boy. Dinner tonight is going to be flank steak which I marinated over night in a mix of shallots, soy sauce, lemon juice, and orange juice along with a roasted root vegetable medley (parsnips, carrots, potato, and rutabaga), and more spoon bread and potentially a salad if I can sum up the energy to throw one together. I have dressing... all I need to do is put veggies in a bowl. Might be manageable....

Starting Up Again

I feel like I should start posting on here again. For many reasons. First off, my manager managed to meander over here and told me I inspired her, and ultimately that was the reason I started this blog in the first place, to inspire others to set goals and push themselves to reach them. Secondly I really do love to write and not being in school I don't get the chance to do so very often. Finally I like to keep a log of how my runs are feeling, what my goals are, etc. Sure I write it all down on paper but it is not really the same, mostly because I hate writing on pen and paper, my hand gets tired and I'm a wimp (this is what four years of compulsive note taking and writing absolutely exhaustive exams gets you - hand pain).

So lets get to it shall we?

When I left off I had just registered for my first half marathon. Now I'm less than a month out. I have run all but four of the miles dictated by my training schedule, and I'm looking at the final four weeks with a mix of trepidation (there's a lot of running taking place) and excitement. Mostly I just can't wait to run my half. I still remember how much fun I had at the Fall Classic and I can't wait to feel that same adrenaline, exhaustion, and sense of accomplishment. I'm confident about completing the distance (I ran 10 miles last week and it went really, really well), I'm a bit more apprehensive about finishing in under two hours. It would mean maintaining about a 9:05 pace for 13.1 miles... Something I may or may not actually be able to do. I just completed a five mile tempo, done at a 9:10 pace, and it was hard. I mean tempos are supposed to be hard, but this was, hard. Hard in a I feel slightly nauseous now I may have pushed myself a bit too far kind of way. Then again aren't I supposed to give 100% during my half?

Regardless, a sub-two hour half is still my goal, but my secondary goal is sub 2:05, which I really think is possible, and my tertiary goal is simply to finish, but again I'm not actually too overly concerned about running the distance because I know I can do it.

Food-wise things are going really well. The boy and I's New Year's resolution was to start only eating meat and animal products if we could be absolutely sure it was raised in a human way and treated humanely as well. The result has been that we eat a lot less meat (organic meat is insanely expensive), and that I've been experimenting a lot more with food. Its come to a point where I look forward to grocery shopping more than shopping for clothes, but I think that's a good thing. The bad thing is I don't think I should be allowed into whole foods alone. Ever. I rarely stick to my shopping list and end up blowing two weeks worth of food money in one go... Too much good food, too little time/money.

Last night we roasted eggplant with zucchini and tomatoes, along with a bulgur wheat tabbouleh, and roasted halibut done in a green sauce. Tonight I am making coconut wild rice soup with sweet potato spoon bread (sweet potatoes mashed with a bit of flour, shallots, and some goat cheese), as well as roasted tomato paprika soup because the boy doesn't like coconut. My hope is that the soups last us through the week and serve as lunch.

Also tonight I am marinating a flank steak for tomorrows dinner which will be served with a roasted root vegetable medley (roasting vegetables makes all the difference in the world - super high heat, we're talking 400-500 degree ovens here + veggies = mmmmmm). Then at some point this week I really want to make chili (made with a mix of extra lean ground beef and buffalo, the leanest red meat out there) with this buttermilk cornbread recipe that uses polenta instead of cornmeal and olive oil instead of butter and buttermilk instead of cream which supposedly keeps everything super moist and pretty healthy.

This week is also the boy and I's four year anniversary, the 28th. Its been an incredible four years. There's been huge highs - graduation, my 10k, my coming half, Paris, three fantastically beautiful Vancouver summers, our trip to Shasta and Ashland, and massive lows, my mom's death nine months into our relationship, and other things I wont post here. But we've stuck through it, made it through it and come out on the other side four years older, four years stronger, and pretty convinced we can face more or less anything. To celebrate we're going snow camping up at Garibaldi. I am semi-terrified as our last attempt at snow camping ended with us bailing at two in the morning (we were car-camping) because I was just too damn cold. Fortunately this time I own a lot more fleece and a down-fill jacket, and the forecast is saying -2C as opposed the the -16 it was the last time we tried this. I think we'll be ok.

Ok, back to making dinner before I let the sweet potatoes burn.

First Half Marathon and a Training Plan

Ok, so I'm have a tendency to do this early and registering for a small half marathon three months early might seem obsessive but hey, I saved 20 bucks and I'm guaranteed a spot.

Anyway, the point is I registered for my first half marathon, on the Historic Langley Half on February 21st which gives me 13 weeks, starting tomorrow (I've got a terrible head cold today and can't really breath and just got the swine-flu vaccine last night so I feel like a run might just put too much stress on my body and totally wipe me out) to train. I toyed with running the Mercer Island half marathon on March 20-something instead of this one, but this one is much closer to me (40 minute drive as opposed to three and a half some-odd hours) and therefore I wont have to pay for a place to stay or deal with crossing the US border. Furthermore I plan to run my full marathon in Seattle anyway as the Vancouver marathon is just a bit sooner than I'd like (early May), so I might as well save the Washington trip till then.

So I have a training plan which I feel confident about and I'm working on a food plan as my current one will take some adjusting. For the most part I feel like I do eat pretty well. I have to as I've definitely got one of those metabolisms that hangs on to weight (starvation genes, fat genes whatever you want to call them). This last year, however, I've been focused on losing weight and therefore have eaten the minimum number of carbs to get me through workouts and otherwise tried to focus on lean proteins etc. I'm not perfect, but I did a pretty good job of avoiding processed carbohydrates at any rate. Furthermore I enjoy learning about food and discovering new ingredients and tastes. Much of my nutritional overhaul this last year has been more an exploration in natural foods than a lesson in deprivation. For example Friday night dinner was quinoa with a broccoli pesto and broccoli and a mushroom casserole made from mushrooms onions brown rice cottage cheese a touch of sour-cream eggs and parmesan. Delicious filled with good fats (for the most part) protein packed and full of complex carbohydrates (check out www.101cookbooks.com, it will completely change the way you think about natural foods).

But now, I'm going to need to up my carbohydrate intake. I still plan to stick to whole grains and complx carbohydrates but I am starting to wonder what role GUs and energy bars might start to play particularly when I start heading out for 9-11 mile run. Either that or maybe I'll avoid the processed stuff alltogether and start bringing packets of dried fruits, or LARA bars as I have a fear of chemicals.

So here's the plan for next week (which I already know might not work out perfectly as I am graduating on Thursday and heading up to Whistler for the weekend on Friday):

Monday - Spin class (the plan is to register for it BEFORE I head to work Monday morning. If a 5:30 class is full at eight am then I give up)

Tuesday - schedule has an easy 2 miles... which really doesn't feel like much but I WILL stick to the schedule. I will, I will, I will...

Wednesday - weights/cross training (my weekly half hour on the elliptical oh how I hate you)

Thursday - five mile tempo run

Friday - easy 2 miles (again with the not feeling like much but I'll see how this first week goes)

Saturday - day off. I believe in one full stop day, at least for now. It may be eliminated later but I always find myself relieved when I get to take one day off. This week I will likely be skiing but that's not really that much exercise, particularly since I'm a mediocre skier, my boyfriend is a great skier and therefore I tend to spend a lot of time rolling down the black-diamond slopes he can tackle with the grace and confidence of an Olympic medalist (he's not, but he is one of those people with annoyingly perfect form who's never phased by anything on the mountain).

Sunday - seven miles run.

So Sunday's long run may end up being pushed to Monday as Sunday will likely be spent skiing and then driving back down to Vancouver, but otherwise I should be able to stick to it.

New Balance Fall Classic

So a year ago, I weighed 214lbs. Today I weigh 162, that's 52lbs gone. For any who are wondering, I am 5'7.

A year ago I couldn't run half a mile without keeling over and gasping for breath. Today I run 20-25 miles a week and I have a goal. A goal to run 26.2 miles at the end at the Seattle Rock and Roll marathon on June 26th 2010.

Today I completed my first mile-marker. I ran a 10k. I know its not very far, in fact it is a distance I have run before, but it was my first race. My first time velcroing a timing chip to my ankle and pining on a bib. My first time lining up at the start line and waiting, jumping up an down nervously for the clock to count down. My first time running a set 6.1 mile (10k) course (I know I said I've run 6 miles before, and I kind of have, but I measured the distance by driving the route with my car, I know I need to invest in a Garmin, and I don't run with a watch so I only have a vague idea of exactly how long it takes me to run a 10k distance).

I had a goal, my goal was to finish in an hour, just under a 10 minute mile for the whole race. Not very fast for most people, I know, but for me. For me who a year ago could barley run a 14 minute mile... It's huge.

So I got up this morning, at seven am, had some Irish soda bread toast with almond butter and honey (my favorite pre-run meal in the world), got dressed, stopped by Starbucks because lets face it I can't handle a day without caffeine, and walked over to the UBC student rec center where the race started. It was cold, windy, and raining, but my entire body was bubbling with excitement. This was the beginning, if I could get through this I could get through a half marathon... and theoretically if I can get through a half marathon then that marathon I want to run in June should be possible. Typical me, we arrived before the 10k check in even began, so we waited around, then picked up my bib and timing chip, and then sat down at a table to wait for the next 45 minutes or so. To his credit my boyfriend complained minimally about the amount of sleep he lost thanks to my obsessive, must-be-on-time nature.

I made two bathroom trips because the idea of having to go during the race made me nervous, and finally headed out of the warm gym to the start line, said bye to my boyfriend who headed out with the camera to key race points, and silently cursed myself for not grabbing a watch before leaving the house. Sure, I never run with one, but I don't usually have a time goal in mind whereas this time... This time I really really wanted to finish in an hour. I figured I could ask someone somewhere along the way, and then the clock ran out and the race started.

I started too fast, that much I knew, and as we headed over the first hill to the other side of campus I told myself to SLOW DOWN, to stop being so damn competitive and let the faster, fitter runners get ahead of me. It was ok, this was my first 10k, they were probably aiming to finish in 40 minutes or less, I was aiming for an hour.

The weather sucked, and my ipod shuffle headphones got waterlogged quickly which resulted in the voice over going on sporadically and random skips in my music. I was glad for the free throwaway gloves they handed out before the start. I threw them off at around the 3k mark, but they helped keep me warm until my body had warmed up enough to make them unnecessary.

Honestly I didn't think I'd make my time goal. I really really didn't. The middle of the race felt hard, I was fighting wind and rain and my legs didn't feel as powerful as they sometimes do. Furthermore I kept getting side cramps along my right side, not super painful ones, but annoying. At the turn around I said to myself, allright then, lets just finish this, hopefully it will be under 1:10, and at least I'll have completed it, we can look at what went wrong later. At around 7k I saw the boy standing there, soaking wet, smiling with the camera, I gave him a smile and a wave and dug in. At 8k I told myself I had less than a mile in a half left to go. I would finish, and I stared wondering if maybe I would make my time goal.

There were after all other 10k runners still besides me, and what's more, there were a fair amount of half-marathoners around me, glancing nervously at their watches in a way that told me they were trying for sub two-hour finishes, so at 9k I decided to give it my all. I picked up the pace down main mall to university boulevard, and then as I turned onto west mall, the last bit of the race, I was next two this couple, the girl was I think running her first half and the guy was telling her to give it everything she had, that this was it. I decided to listen to his advice and took off, my legs moving faster than I think they ever had before, and as I turned the corner and saw the finish line clock I just about passed out, it read 59:55, I ran even harder and made it in 1:00:06 (I don't have the official time off my chip yet as we left before they started posting them, and I know it took me about 5-15 seconds to get across the start line as I was back a bit in the crowd). I had done it, I had finished my first 10k in more or less exactly an hour. I was absolutely elated. I didn't think I'd care much about the time. I thought I'd be more excited about having finished my first real race, but I felt so incredibly proud of myself for finishing on goal. I got hugs from my boyfriend, his mom and the dog who had come out to the finish line to cheer me on, I couldn't stop smiling and repeating over and over again that I had done it. Because honestly I didn't think I would.

So this is just the beginning, now I look towards half marathon training and then towards a marathon, but I know I can do it. I know I can push, I know I can accomplish the weight loss goals (140) and the running goals I have set for myself. Although I started running to help with my weight loss, it has grown into something else completely. I have, as so many other have, fallen in love with the simplicity of it, the one step after the other, lose yourself in the moment, feeling of running and I don't know why I used to hate it so much, because I did hate it. I was that kid in PE who would lag at the back when we were told to run the mile. I was the one who hated soccer and basketball and all team sports because they involved so much running... and its amazing how much that has all changed.

I'm running my 10k in a week and half, on the 15th...

But I'm continuing to go downhill in terms of food choices etc.

I feel like a year ago when I started this I was at a point where my health was at risk, where I had to lose the weight, or keep going up in to the 220s and so on until I didn't know when. Now I'm 164, and that's awesome. That's really, really amazing and awesome. But I've slowed down since summer.

On the one hand I'm running more than ever, I've gotten faster, my endurance has gone up, everything is getting better. On the other hand in the past four months I have only lost like seven pounds... which is really not very much at all.

I wanted to be 140 by Christmass, but now I know it's not going to happen. Twenty-five pounds in a month in a half is just not going to happen. It could have happened, if I hadn't always given in and gotten that extra cookie, or scone, or muffin, or whatever other slew of terrible terrible food choices I have made in the last three months. I need to get back on track, and I need to get back on track NOW, otherwise I will regain all the weight and last year will have been for nothing.

I need to do this, I need to lose these 25 lbs. I need to stop taking days off of running when I don't feel like going. Yeah, so I make it about four times a week, but I need to run five times a week, with one or two days worth of cross-training. I have to work out six to seven days a week. Why because I want to hit 140. I want to fit into those clothes, I want people to look at me and say wow you look great, and people do tell me that now, but only because of what I used to look like.

Today I cracked as I was leaving work, I got a polar bear cookie and a caramel brulee late. The cookie had 440 calories, the late 310. That's 750 calories, right there and I was already at 1000, which would have been fine if I had just waited for dinner. Then I said fuck it, and got a bag of chips on my way home. Another 300 calories.

I've been doing this about once a week for the past couple of weeks, and it HAS TO STOP. This is what I used to do, this is the way I used to eat. The craziest part is I haven't eaten this way for a year and I haven't missed it. Eating well, and making healthy choices made me feel good, it made me feel powerful and capable and strong. I want to be that healthy person.

My trainer keeps asking me how the food thing is going and I keep being unable to tell him... somehow I'm sure he knows, my weight loss has totally stalled which means having him is a waste of money. Exercise is only half the battle. Food is the other half.

I need to be that healthy person. So I have to find that motivation again.

I'm going to have to start over with food because all my bad habits have returned. I need to refocus and think about what I want to feel like. I don't want to crash in the middle of the day because I've had too much sugar. I don't want to feel nauseous because all I've eaten in a day is processed crap. I want to feel good and powerful and strong and like I'm doing good things to myself.

I need to get it together. I need to get it together badly.